Non-Compete.

A quick word for both freelancers and those who hire them…

I recently had a chat with someone who was interested in my professional services as a writer. Though I wasn’t knocking it out of the park, our conversation was going fairly well, with both parties finding enough commonality of purpose and vision to potentially strike up a working relationship. That is, until said interviewer asked me a particular question:

“Would you be willing to sign a non-compete?”

Uh. Wait a sec. Say again?

“Would you be willing to sign a non-compete?”

Riiiiight. That’s what I thought you said. Let me think about that for a second.

Are you going to pay me equitably for the privilege of acquiring my exclusivity? Will you guarantee me a substantial living wage that ensures I will never have to seek out other employment for as long as your corporate entity is still a thing? Because if you’re not, then the resounding answer to your question rhymes with “No duck for shelf” (Hint: it’s “Go fuck yourself.”)

I’m a freelancer. If Coke and Pepsi both want to hire me to design a new can or write a new jingle or parade around their offices in spandex because I just look so damned good in it, they’re both more than welcome to do so. And that also means that I’m able to take work from anyone I can or want to, unless you as an employer are willing to pony up enough to make it worthwhile for me to not work for your competitor and lose out on that potential source of revenue.

But if you ask me to sign a non-compete and you’re either unable or unwilling to pay for it with full-time work and a full-time wage? Well, hey, why don’t you come into my house and meet my family, so you’ll actually be able to see the mouths you’ll be taking food out of, hmmm?

I realise that writing this might kneecap me with some prospective employers who might read this post; however, I felt it valuable and necessary to expose this blight that I’m sure many chronically under-valued, hungry, and desperate freelancers find themselves infected by. And besides, if you, dear reader, are the type of employer who does ask that undeserved question and would take offence to this, then I’d probably be rhyming “No duck” to you, too.